"What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing."

"He demonstrates an inability to learn which cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or other health factors. [The Boy] exhibits a severe discrepency between his predicted and actual achievement, which is not correctable without special education services, and is demonstrated in mathematical calculation, mathematical reasoning, written expression, basic reading, and reading comprehension."


Yikes.


That was not a fun evaluation to read. At all. It was rather scary, in fact. I'm glad at least that they didn't just send it to me in the mail, but called me in for a meeting as well. I was able to read over the evaluation and then talk to several teachers to find out what it all means.


The basic summary is as follows. In most areas- The Boy is well within the average range- sometimes even above average. His health is fine- there is no hearing or vision problems that might negatively impact his learning. His IQ tests came back great- he is perfectly capable of learning. His speech showed a delay,but we knew that already. Heck, that's why we started this process in the first place- because we wanted him in speech classes again.


However, for some reason- he isn't learning. For example- he wasn't able to identify numbers and letters consistently enough to demonstrate a grasp on the subject. This seems very scary and overwhelming to That Guy and I.


I did leave the meeting feeling encouraged though. For one thing, we were concerened about The Boy being "labeled". Not that it is always a bad thing- but we've both seen kids that were given a label as having a learning disability, and then that student and many teachers used the label as an excuse almost- why push, why try, he's got a learning disability. We didn't want that for The Boy. We want him to know that he always has to try his best. We want teachers to try to challenge him, not to think that he is incapable.


What I was told though was that, at this age, there is no official "diagnosis" Basically, it's pretty hard to say a child has a learning diability when they have never been in a formal learning environment. What they are saying at this point in time is that The Boy is definately behind where he should be, and that he's going to need some extra work. End of story.


I was worried about how far behind he might be, because I do not feel that I am qualified to work with a special needs child. Most of what the teachers commented on though were his pre-math and pre-reading skills. These are areas that I can help him with. Heck, these are areas I am already working with him in on a regular basis. So I am confident that, with continued work at home and work at school, he will soon be caught up to his peers.


I was worried that The Boy might not be able to attend "normal" kindergarten. Again, nothing wrong with special education schools, but That Guy and I both felt that mainstreaming his education would be more beneficial. Luckily, the school agrees. The Boy will attend kindergarten, and just be pulled out during part of the day for some one-on-one work. Plus, he'll get his speech classes again.


I still can't help but feel like I've failed him somehow. I tried to make learning fun, to expose him to numbers and letters without resorting to drilling him with flashcards. I always thought parents who did that at a young age were being too pushy. And now I'm realizing that, for some kids, that type of work is most beneficial. By trying to help him learn through play, I've actually done a disservice. He focused solely on the play and didn't pick up the lessons I was trying to subtly interject.

So, from now on we're going to try it both ways. I will still try and find ways to work education into fun moments (ex: counting out loud when he's bouncing a ball) but we are also going to do more "formal" lessons as well. We started this in June already, so it won't be too hard. Now I just have to make sure I continue our lessons once we've gone through the alphabet (my origional plan was just to do the ABC's)

That Guy wants to be more involved as well, so we're going to look over some websites this weekend to come up with activities and lessons he can do with them. I'm really glad he wants to do that though. I was starting to feel very alone in all of this, so it's a relief that he wants to be more hands on.