"Action expresses priorites"

There are times when I really wonder if my husband and I are ever on the same page. We have conversations all the time about what our goals are, what our priorites are- and verbally, we seem to be in agreement. We both say that our two biggest priorities right now are saving money and being healthier.

But then there are our actions, which seem to be going in two different directions.

I'm not claiming to be perfect- but I do believe that I am making our priorites the focus of my actions. Not 100% on target all the time- but I am working towards that. My husband, on the other hand...well... I just don't see him doing what he is saying.

Take savings, for example. We aren't struggling to make ends meet- but we want to focus on savings because in October we will be losing all our handy little military benefits. Which means no more free medical. No more housing allowance. Buying a house on our own dime. Scary thought. So we both think about cutting things out.

Our cell-phone plan was cheaper than a home phone- so we decided not to get one. We actually cut out internet altogether (yay for wireless mooching, lol!) and our cable is going away soon too. We just don't need those things, and can't justify paying for them.

But That Guy still nitpicks over expenses. He asks a million questions when I buy new clothes for the kids- even though they are growing like weeds, need those clothes, and I shop sales racks. He gripes about the grocery bill- even though I have managed to cut our grocery bill from around $100 a week to under $200 for the entire freaking month. He complains about household bills- even though I do everything I can to save energy, including using daylight instead of turning on lights in the house, keeping the thermostat at 80* instead of running the air, and washing dishes by hand instead of running the dishwasher every day.

And it's not that I find these concerns of his to be unreasonable, under normal circumstances. But these complaints are coming from a man who asked for a $200 amplifier for his birthday, who decided to buy a new laptop this week, and is currently shopping for another guitar (when he has three already)

What the hell? Where are the priorities? He wants me to cut back on food for the family and clothes for the kids- but new guitars and amplifiers are ok?? Ugh!!!

And then there's being healthier. We both say we want to set a good example for the kids. We both say we want to lose weight. We both say we want to cut back on junk food. And I try. Yes, I mess up. A lot. But I do try.

That Guy does go to the gym three times a week for PT. And if I cook something healthy, he eats it. But that's the extent of it. He asked for Wii Fit for Father's Day- and has used it a grand total of 3 times since then. When I ask him to go for walks or bike rides with the kids and I, he always has an excuse why he can't/shouldn't go. He comes home from work almost every single night with a soda and some form of junk food.

Now, I understand that you can't force someone to be healthier. If he isn't ready to take those steps- fine. But why the hell does he say he wants to lose weight if he isn't willing to put any effort into it? I just don't get it.

So I know I kind of complained about That Guy a lot here. It's just been on my mind lately. We've had a couple of semi-arguments lately. I wouldn't say they were full on arguments- since they tend to be one-sided. That Guy makes a snide/rude/obnoxious remark, and I roll my eyes and leave the room. Stimulating conversation right there.

I just wish we could truly be on the same page. I don't know if we will be anytime soon. Sure would be nice though.