"The more alternatives, the more difficult the choice"

After days of phone calls, and a lot of discussion and deliberation, That Guy and I have made a decision about The Boy's education.

We have decided not to sign the paperwork placing him in the special education program, and to send him to a "normal" kindergarten class instead.

There were several reasons for this, and we've already received negative reactions to it. The principal from school T has asked "why are you denying him the help he needs" The special education teacher has said "The Boy is already behind, you're doing him a disservice" The front desk clerk at school T gave me a withering look, as if I was the worst parent she has ever dealt with.

We are confident in our decision though.

1st- school T was basing his "need" for placement on his "out of state IEP". The IEP that was done when we were in England. When he was 3. And not speaking. Well, sure- if he was still on that level 2 years later I would understand his need to be in a special program. But he's not. His only speech problem is phoenetic now. He speaks. Not always clearly, but he speaks.

2nd- when the evaluation was done at school H- they said that most of The Boy's problems were that he didn't know some of the pre-school basics. He didn't know the alphabet and couldn't count past 5, for example. In the month since that evaluation we've worked with The Boy. Not only does he know the alphabet now- he's also started writing words. He's counting to twenty, and doing basic addition and subtraction (and even started learning fractions when he helps me cook!) We are convinced that, whatever he needs to learn, he will learn. He has more than demonstrated that he is capable of learning.

3rd- I don't think his learning disability is an actual disability. I think he has a different learning style. The Boy has a hard time with memorization, but he does exceedingly well with visual prompts. If you ask The Boy to recite the alphabet- he can't do it without stumbling. But he knows all letters on sight. He can't add and subtract in his head, but if you show him things written out on paper he can give the right answer. He's a visual learner. I don't see that as a disability. That Guy and I are also visual learners. It didn't hinder us in school and it hasn't harmed us in life. I don't see how we are doing The Boy a disservice here.

And 4th- I've seen how The Boy does in "mainstream" classes, and seen how he does is "special" classes. When he was in speech classes the teachers tended to teach to the lower abilities in the class. Which makes sense, and I am not criticizing that in any way. When he was in the daycare- his teacher planned her lessons based on what the majority was capable of. Sometimes The Boy struggled a bit- and sometimes he excelled. But when he struggled, it motivated him. The Boy doesn't like not knowing how to do something, and when he sees other children doing something he doesn't know how to do yet, he tries and tries until he masters that skill.

Right now, the only disservice I see happening is that the school district here is over-crowded, under-staffed and under-funded. As a result, the children are on a track system, and the kindergarten is divided into morning and afternoon sessions. The Boy will only be going to school for 2 1/2 hours a day for the six weeks we have left in Nevada. When we move back to MS, he will be attending a nine-month school with a full day program. If he is behind the other children, it will not be because we didn't consent to special education, but because he is starting school later in the year than his MS peers, and attending for a significantly shorter time each day.

So, we've made our decision and we're sticking with it. The Boy will attend the school we origionally registered him with- and I will continue our homeschooling as well. If that makes me a bad mom- so be it.