"Stubborness does have it's helpful features. You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow."

Sometimes I am afraid that I am too stubborn for my own good.

I keep trying to find the motivation to pick up my school books again and study- but I just can't seem to care.

I should be working on my paralegal degree. I just don't want to.

When I was 8 years old, I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer. This didn't change until I was 18, pregnant, and in the middle of dropping out of college. After my son was born, I did want to go back to school, but I felt that I had to be realistic. a 4 year degree, and then law school began to feel out of reach. I didn't know how we would be able to afford it.

So I switched my focus to paralegal studies- and I began my courses almost 2 years ago. Two years working on an associates degree- and I am not even finished with my second semester.

The problem is- I don't want to be a paralegal. I never did. But it just seemed like a realistic step-down from my goal. And now I've paid for two semesters- so I don't want to feel like I have wasted that money. I just can't make myself study- so either way I've wasted our money.

Lately I've been thinking of alternate career options, and I've had an idea that I am excited about. But I'm nervous to pursue it. What if I change my mind again? Why is it that, at 24 years old, I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up".

The past few months, I've given a lot of thought to pursuing certification as a personal trainer. After all, getting healthier has been a steady focus of my life for almost 2 years now. I've learned a lot, and why shouldn't I do something with that? I've mentioned it to That Guy, and he's being supportive, to a certain degree. He tells me that it would be a great idea- a job I can have while I finish school. "While I finish".

That Guy just assumes that I will continue on the path I origionally chose. My family and friends all assume the same. Hell, so do I. It's hard to change your focus- especially when it's something that's been the focus for 2/3 of your life.

Just not sure what to do right now.