"Creativity is a natural extension of our enthusiasm"

The Boy has quite a passion for drawing. The the point where That Guy and I are giving serious consideration to signing him up for art classes after we move. And, like most little kids, his drawings are mostly just the things he loves. There are a lot of pictures of The Boy with various family members, pictures of him in his favorite places or playing with his favorite toys.

Most of his work though, is superheros. Not surprising, since The Boy has been superhero obsessed for the last three years. He sits at the kitchen table and draws picture after picture, and each one tells a story that he is eager to share.

It might be too early to tell what path he might pursue as an adult, and That Guy and I certainly aren't going to push him one way or the other- but seeing him concentrating so hard on his drawings puts visions of The Boy working for Marvel or DC one day illustrating comics in my head. I can honestly picture that for him- and I would be thrilled if he chose to pursue a creaive path.

I'm not going to try and claim that The Boy is an artistic prodigy, but I will so that I love his little drawings. I love how much effort he puts into them, I love how proud he is of them, and I love the sheer joy on his face as he works on them. I wanted to preserve a little bit of that, so below is a sample of some of The Boy's latest works...

Pictured above, as described by The Boy: "Spiderman with the black alien and Venom fighting at night time", "All the fantastic four, and the thing is really big", "Superman is flying by the stars and the moon because he has powers and he can fly"

Pictured above, again with descriptions provided by The Boy: "This is Batman, Batgirl, Robin and Alfred, and the bat light is shining" "Captain America has his shield, he is really strong", "That's Iron Man, he's not being Toni Stark right now because he has his costume on so he can fly"

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you."

Still continuing on with Sparkpeople's 31 Days to Less Stress. This calander could not have come at a better time for me, this month seems like nothing but stress right now!

Here are the tips I've been trying to focus on the last 5 days...

• Get a massage.
• Develop a mantra.
• Sleep in.
• Keep a journal.
• Don't multitask.

I have to admit, I didn't do too good these last few days. I have been keeping a journal- lots of them actually (I'm a bit of a blog addict!) Sleeping in for me most days though, is simple getting up at 7:30 instead of 6:30- I know I definately do not get the amount of sleep my body needs!

I haven't gotten a massage, but That Guy and I once bought a book on massage basics, and we decided we were both going to review it a bit and try it out this weekend. It should be nice, a little quaility time together and a great stress reducer for both of us!

Giving up multi-tasking is an ongoing struggle. I really am trying to slow down and focus on just one thing at a time, but it seems like every day I have 3 days worth of stuff to do! As for the mantra- I guess that just isn't for me. I tried it, but it didn't help, it just made me feel silly!

Here are the 5 tips I am going to try and focus on July 11th-15th...

1. Experience aromatherapy. Certain scents can evoke a calm state of mind. Known relaxants
   include lavender, chamomile, patchouli, rosemary and more. Try candles, incense, or air fresheners.
2. Try yoga. This form of exercise helps reconnect your mind and body in the present moment, decreasing stress and enhancing well-being. Try a class at a local studio, or a video in the privacy of your own home.
3. Plan something fun. Set aside time to participate in activities you enjoy on a regular basis. Plan a weekend trip, take a drawing class, or schedule a round of golf to take your mind off
   things.
4. Accept imperfection. Be realistic--no one is perfect. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and
   appreciate the outcome of your best efforts, even if it falls short of ideal.
5. Communicate openly. Holding in your thoughts and feelings about stressful situations like
   your work, relationships or parenting won't help you deal with stress or find solutions. Open up to a good friend.

"What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing."

"He demonstrates an inability to learn which cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or other health factors. [The Boy] exhibits a severe discrepency between his predicted and actual achievement, which is not correctable without special education services, and is demonstrated in mathematical calculation, mathematical reasoning, written expression, basic reading, and reading comprehension."


Yikes.


That was not a fun evaluation to read. At all. It was rather scary, in fact. I'm glad at least that they didn't just send it to me in the mail, but called me in for a meeting as well. I was able to read over the evaluation and then talk to several teachers to find out what it all means.


The basic summary is as follows. In most areas- The Boy is well within the average range- sometimes even above average. His health is fine- there is no hearing or vision problems that might negatively impact his learning. His IQ tests came back great- he is perfectly capable of learning. His speech showed a delay,but we knew that already. Heck, that's why we started this process in the first place- because we wanted him in speech classes again.


However, for some reason- he isn't learning. For example- he wasn't able to identify numbers and letters consistently enough to demonstrate a grasp on the subject. This seems very scary and overwhelming to That Guy and I.


I did leave the meeting feeling encouraged though. For one thing, we were concerened about The Boy being "labeled". Not that it is always a bad thing- but we've both seen kids that were given a label as having a learning disability, and then that student and many teachers used the label as an excuse almost- why push, why try, he's got a learning disability. We didn't want that for The Boy. We want him to know that he always has to try his best. We want teachers to try to challenge him, not to think that he is incapable.


What I was told though was that, at this age, there is no official "diagnosis" Basically, it's pretty hard to say a child has a learning diability when they have never been in a formal learning environment. What they are saying at this point in time is that The Boy is definately behind where he should be, and that he's going to need some extra work. End of story.


I was worried about how far behind he might be, because I do not feel that I am qualified to work with a special needs child. Most of what the teachers commented on though were his pre-math and pre-reading skills. These are areas that I can help him with. Heck, these are areas I am already working with him in on a regular basis. So I am confident that, with continued work at home and work at school, he will soon be caught up to his peers.


I was worried that The Boy might not be able to attend "normal" kindergarten. Again, nothing wrong with special education schools, but That Guy and I both felt that mainstreaming his education would be more beneficial. Luckily, the school agrees. The Boy will attend kindergarten, and just be pulled out during part of the day for some one-on-one work. Plus, he'll get his speech classes again.


I still can't help but feel like I've failed him somehow. I tried to make learning fun, to expose him to numbers and letters without resorting to drilling him with flashcards. I always thought parents who did that at a young age were being too pushy. And now I'm realizing that, for some kids, that type of work is most beneficial. By trying to help him learn through play, I've actually done a disservice. He focused solely on the play and didn't pick up the lessons I was trying to subtly interject.

So, from now on we're going to try it both ways. I will still try and find ways to work education into fun moments (ex: counting out loud when he's bouncing a ball) but we are also going to do more "formal" lessons as well. We started this in June already, so it won't be too hard. Now I just have to make sure I continue our lessons once we've gone through the alphabet (my origional plan was just to do the ABC's)

That Guy wants to be more involved as well, so we're going to look over some websites this weekend to come up with activities and lessons he can do with them. I'm really glad he wants to do that though. I was starting to feel very alone in all of this, so it's a relief that he wants to be more hands on.

"Only great minds can afford a simple style"

Introducing The Girl's new fashion line- hand me down t-shirts from Mommy.

Potty training is a never ending battle in our house- sometimes The Girl does great for days at a time, and then it's a day of Mommy cleaning dirty underwear. I was at my wits end and That Guy and I were racking our brains trying to figure it out.

Then it hit me... The Girl has accidents when she wears pants or skirts. If she's running around the house in just her undies- or in undies and a t-shirt- she does just fine. But if I put pants or a skirt on her, suddenly she forgets how to dress and undress herself.

I have no idea why this is- but t-shirts are easy enough. I've given her several of my old t-shirts that she can wear- this way she can still go outside and play without having to worry about modesty.

Ok, sure, she looks like a little rag-a-muffin. And I am sure that I am going to get some odd looks from other parents when I take her to the playground behind our house dressed in a giant t-shirt and sandles. But it works! And right now, that's all that matters to me.

Besides- she's cute and confident enough to pull off a bold fashion statement.

"Give your stress wings and let it fly away"

I thought I would continue with the Sparkpeople July Calander: 31 Days to Less Stress. I definately found the first 5 tips helpful. They were...

• Reach out.
• Work up a sweat.
• Just breathe.
• Hold hands.
• Organize your life.

I really do think that trying to focus on those five things over the last week really helped me. I started talking more, to That Guy and to friends online, about my concerns with The Boy. I created a schedule with the lessons I wanted to do with the kids- and did a massive cleaning spree of the house to help me feel less overwhelmed by clutter and more organized. I've found that yes, for some reason, reaching my hand out to That Guy when I am stressed, and having him grab hold of it somehow made me feel a little more anchored. So did lots and lots of cuddling from the kids- and even The Dog!

I need to remember to do deep breathing exercises more though- I know it helps, I just don't often take the time to sit and breath. And I've known for awhile now that exercising makes me feel better- I just haven't been pushing myself as hard as I should lately. I need to really throw myself into a more challenging daily routine and see if that helps.

Anyway, here are the tips for July 6th-10th...

1. Get a massage. A professional massage can provide soothing, deep relaxation. As the tense muscles relax, so does your entire body, as well as your overstressed mind.
2. Develop a mantra. Does a particular word, phrase or quote help you calm down and relax?Make it your mantra. Write it, think it, and repeat it any time you feel stressed, impatient, or anxious.
3. Sleep in. Most adults need 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Staying wellrested keeps your mind (and body) healthy and better able to handle stressors. A good nap itself can even decrease tension!
4. Keep a journal. Expressing your feelings is a positive way to deal with stress, and journaling captures emotions as you experience them. Let it out, close the book, and get on with your day.
5. Don't multitask. With a lot to do in a little time, you might think it's efficient to multitask. Talk about stressful! He who chases two rabbits catches neither. Focus on one thing at a time for a better outcome.

"There is no problem so awful you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse."

Maybe not the best title quote considering my current state of mind, but I can't help but like it. Calvin and Hobbes always amused me, even the quotes of a more "serious" nature.

Right now I am so overwhelmed with everything- and stress levels are at an all time high. I keep reminding myself that I am going to focus on de-stressing. Im reminding myself to breathe. I'm forcing myself to do my workouts when that's the last thing I want to do right now. I'm trying to focus an organizing everything to get my life under control. But each time I feel like I am getting close, something new comes to tip the scales and upset the tentative balance I have going on.

First it was moving here, and then school, and then the prospect of no longer being a military family, then problems with That Guy. I'm not going to say I handled all of these things well, some of them I am still handling. Still, I felt like there was a routine, a plan in place- a way to move forward.

And now I have the school here telling me that my son's problems are worse than I ever realized. I knew he was delayed with his speech, I expected that. But after months of jumping though hoops and weeks of meetings, evaluations, classes, and testing- I get a call telling me that it's more than just a speech delay- The Boy is being diagnosed with a learning disability.

And I still don't have any answers. I won't find out until next week what disability they have discovered. All I know is that what I thought was a normal speech delay that even I had as a child is something more. And my son won't just be taking speech classes- he won't be attending "normal" kindergarten at all.

To top it all off, not only are they keeping me in the dark after months of jumping through hoops- they are not going to begin working with him until the end of August. So the "homeschooling" I started for fun in June is now being done in earnest. I'm no longer just trying to have a little bit of fun with The Boy and The Girl each day- I am having to spend hours each night searching the internet for whatever resources are available to me so I can help him.

I'm feeling massive amounts of guilt for mommy failures right about now. How is it that my son is five years old and I never realized how far behind he is? In the past 10 years I have gotten a total of 7 years of child care experience. I've studied early childhood development- but still somehow missed all the warning signs that my son was not developing normally? How could I have been so blind to all of it?

I am so sorry for him- that I have failed him- that I didn't see this- that I couldn't help him. I'm trying to remember to just keep breathing and take it a day at a time, but right now I'm having to take it a half hour at a time or I'll lose my mind.

"There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them"

I've been thinking about stress a lot, since I seem to be perpetually stressed out. And while browsing around Sparkpeople- I noticed that their motivational calander for July is 31 Days to Less Stress. Perfect timing!


So, I thought I would share their tips here 5 (or 6 for the last set) at a time- and then see how many I can do in the days that follow.

1. Reach out. Develop a network of friends and family who you can rely on and confide in. Call or visit them when you need to talk or vent. By sharing and listening, they will help you calm down.
2. Work up a sweat. Exercise is one of the best ways to de-stress. Pop in a workout video, hop on your bike or grab your jump rope. Picture the stress leaving you body through your pores and let it go.
3. Just breathe. When a stressful situation arises breathe in and out slowly and deeply for 10 full breaths. Exhaling slowly decreases your heart rate and calms the body, helping reduce stress.
4. Hold hands. A recent study published in Psychological Science found that hand-holding calms the body's reaction to stress. So grab the hand of a friend or loved on whether you're sitting on the couch or taking a walk.
5. Organize your life. De-stress your mind by de-cluttering. Clear off your desk, clear out your coset, utilize a planner and donate items you don't use. You'll be more relaxed and ready to tackle other issues.